And that I love you unlike any other girl could ever do.
You love the things that I love: you love art and you love books,
And you love love as much as I do and you love my dirty looks,
And you love me right now.
So, how can you love...
Vegemite? It tastes like sadness.
It tastes like batteries. It tastes like acid.
I cannot hold a man so close who spreads this cancer on his toast.
It is the Vegemite, my darling, or it’s me.
You have to make the fucking choice.
I cannot sit with you at breakfast,
The very smell of it obliterates my senses.
And if that weren’t bad enough you also eat the shit for lunch,
Which means we can’t spend any time together,
What kind of relationship is that?
The choice is yours, my heart is in your hands...
Please wash your hands,
You just had Vegemite for lunch you selfish bastard.

I love you, and no matter what you eat,
I’ll always love you completely,
I might just always leave the room at meal times,
Or refuse to touch or kiss you for a week,
If you insist on putting that foul death paste in your mouth.
You’re in my heart, but put yourself inside my shoes,
I have to know, it shouldn’t be that hard to choose.
I know it’s tearing you apart, but it’s the way it has to be.
It is the Vegemite, my darling,
It is the Vegemite, my darling,
Put down the Vegemite, you fucker, or I’ll leave.
Vegemite is dark brown Australian food paste made from yeast extract. It is similar to British Marmite and Swiss Cenovis. It is used as spread for Sandwiches, toasts, crumpets and filling for pastries.
Vegemite is made from used brewers’ yeast extract, a by-product of beer manufacturing, and various vegetable and spices additives. It is salty, slightly bitter and malty. The texture is smooth and sticky. It is less sweet than New Zealand’s marmite and less flavored than British marmite.