[Pre-Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up
And now your daddy doesn't fuck with your momma (hell no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with your momma
All together, come on!
[Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up
And that's why Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma (hell no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
[Verse 1]
Oh, hello son, I really wish I knew you
I'm your father you'll probably never be introduced to
You'll only see me on TV or maybe YouTube
But now I know your momma is probably dating some new dude
So how you liking Earth? Are you loving your existence?
I wasn't at your birth, 'cause your mother made me miss it
I tried to get a visa, I applied and they denied it
'Cause your momma told the police that I beat her, she was lyin'
And now I'm banned for something bad that I ain't even do
There's a lot of land and water separating me and you
You're far away in Australia and I am in America
So I cannot be there to do all of the things a parent does
This is my attempt at me raisin' you from a distance
You have Hopson in your blood, you are special and you are gifted
The punishment your mother has given me doesn't seem fair
Just know I love you, son, and I'm wishin' that I could be there
[Pre-Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up (it's sad)
And now your daddy doesn't fuck with your momma (hell no)
Nope, Daddy doesn't fuck with your momma
Now sing it with me, son!
[Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up (yeah, that's it)
And that's why Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
(That's why what?) (Hell no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
[Verse 2]
I know you and your mom are stayin' with her parents Bill & Kirsten
You're partially black, I'm confident they're feelin' nervous
They don't like colored people, in their eyes you're still a burden
They assume you gonna grow up shootin' guns and stealin' purses
But that's not true, son, don't be sad
I know you're not like that, you know I got your back
Listen, here's a funny joke that you could tell your grandmother
She looks like the Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters
Oh, I forgot, you're too young to know what that is
But that's the kinda thing I like to say to plumpy fat chicks
The humps on Mom's chest are not real, they're elastic
And if you look closely you can see she's made of plastic
Like a toy, you my boy, my son, my friend
I promise we gon' be together somehow in the end
I am very ashamed that you don't have my last name
Every night I go to bed and I'm feelin' this wicked pain, because—
[Pre-Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up
And now your daddy doesn't fuck with your momma (hell no)
Nope, Daddy doesn't fuck with your momma
You know what time it is, son
[Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up (that's right)
And that's why Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
(Daddy doesn't fuck with who?) (Hell no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
[Verse 3]
Currently my life has hit the floor
I can't lie to you, shit is hard
I should be buildin' with the Lord
It could be what I'm missin' or
Maybe I should continue to hurt your momma and diss her more
Just to relieve the tension that sits in my heart, 'cause it is sore
When I'm spittin' bars about all my cash and exquisite cars
This was on my vision and you were the one I did it for
My relationship with your momma is sittin' in the morgue
After all this hell, I can't lie, I do wish she did abort
Our lives are so unhappy
'Cause this world is cold and nasty
Just know your daddy don't condone havin' a broken family
I'm so sad we couldn't work out our issues 'fore you arrived
And now you have to suffer
'Cause Mom and Daddy have stupid lives
You're way too young to notice it
You don't deserve to go through this
If I do see your mom again, this time I will assault the bitch
At least then I'll feel like my bannin' was justified
Look at your momma, thank her for fuckin' up all our lives, and sing
[Pre-Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up
And now your daddy doesn't fuck with your momma (hell no)
Nope, Daddy doesn't fuck with your momma
Where's my choir at?
[Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up (Momma had to fuck it all up)
And that's why Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
(Daddy doesn't fuck your momma) (Hell no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma
[Bridge]
Oh, son
I'm sorry I can't be there with you
But I'll be there soon
But Daddy doesn't fuck with your momma (no, no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with your momma
Just know that—
[Chorus]
Our lives coulda been so good
But Momma had to fuck it all up
And that's why Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma (hell no)
No, Daddy doesn't fuck with my momma