Well I was drinking last night with a biker
And I showed him a picture of you
I said "pal, get to know her, you'll like her"
Seemed like the least I could do
'Cause when he's charging his chopper
Up and down your carpeted halls
You will think me by contrast quite proper
Never mind how I stumble and fall
Never mind how I stumble and fall
You imagine sipping champagne from your boot (note 1)
For a taste of your elegant pride
I may be going to hell in a bucket
But at least I'm enjoying the ride
At least I'm enjoying the ride
Yeah at least I'm enjoying the ride
Ahh miss sweetie little soft-core pretender
Somehow baby got hard as it gets
With her black leather chrome spiked suspenders
And her chair and her whip and her pets
Well we know you're the reincarnation
Of the ravenous Catherine the Great
And we know how you love your ovations
And the Z-rated scenes you create
And the Z-rated scenes you create
You analyse me, attempt to despise me
And you laugh when I stumble and fall
There may come a day I will dance on your grave
If unable to dance I will crawl across it
Unable to dance I will crawl
Yeah, unable to dance I'll crawl
You must really consider the circus
'Cause it just might be your kind of zoo
I can't think of a place that's more perfect
For a person as perfect as you
And it's not like I'm leaving you lonely
'Cause I wouldn't know where to begin
But I know that you'll think of me only
When the snakes come marching in
When the snakes come marching in
Ride, ride, ride, ride
At least I'm enjoying the ride
Ride, ride, ride, ride
At least I'm enjoying the ride
Ride, ride, ride
At least I'm enjoying the ride
Played regularly by the Grateful Dead after its introduction in 1983. More recently played by Bob Weir with Ratdog

The following verse was apparently written by John Barlow for use in the song, but not in the event used by Bob Weir:

And while you were saying your mantra
I was humping your very best friend
And comparing myself to Sinatra
'Cause I did it my way in her end

David Gans posted the following additional verse from a rehearsal tape on 24 Jan 1983:

All those noises that come from the bedroom
Are so hard to explain to the guests
Whatever's in there should be fed soon
When they're hungry, they're unpleasant pests

Notes
(1) apparently Barlow's original version of this line was "You imagine me kissing the toe of your boot," but David Gans suggested to Bob Weir that he change it to "sipping champagne."